Friday 7 April 2017

What happens when fear of silly things consume us?


Everyone is afraid of something or the other. Someone might be afraid of heights, someone of water and some other person might be afraid of germs. But I do not want to talk about these big fears or phobias. I want to talk about those fears which work in total stealth mode. Those fears which hide under the sheets and make an entrance in the most ludicrous situations which even makes you say to yourself, “how silly of me to be afraid of such an itsy-bitsy and futile thing.” These Lilliputian things are many and they also work on a daily basis but no one really does anything about it because they are seldom given the tag of fear.

Unclear of what I am talking about? Let’s see some examples. How many of us are afraid to raise our hands in the classroom even when we know the correct answer? How many of us are apprehensive to register ourselves in the drama club even though we secretly fantasize about it? How many of us cannot disagree with that special someone even if we it contradicts our beliefs? How many of us are shy to approach that person on whom we have been crushing over since decades? 

Examples are many and all of them have the same black-hat, fear! Yeah, of course, there’s low self-esteem, low confidence, shyness etc also to be blamed but isn’t fear the sole reason which triggers these dark feelings?  Why are we unable to join the drama club? Because we have low self-confidence? Yeah! But more than that we are afraid that we’ll be laughed at or we’ll be unable to match others and end up being a total misfit. Why can’t we disagree with that special someone? Because we are afraid that we might lose them. Why can’t we speak up in the classroom? Because we are afraid that we might be wrong.

Now think of all the times when you really wanted to do something but couldn’t because you were afraid (excluding the phobias). Now relive those times in your head but this time be fearless. Imagine how wonderful things would have been if you were not afraid. It’s not the first time you are doing this. I’m pretty sure that every time after you miss something out of fear, you relive the same situation over and over again in your head, editing and curating it, telling yourself that I should have done it this way or I should have said this, done that or that I will definitely do it next time. 

Having said that now think how often something like this happens to you? Do you make indelible moments in your head more than in real life? How often are you afraid of futile things? If such instances are many, it’s regardless to say that you let fear of silly things consume you. A legitimate fear is a benefactor but illogical and dumb fear is a marauder! 

What happens when fear of silly things consume us?

  
Baseless fears prevent us from living life to the fullest by stopping us from doing things which perhaps would have been extremely enthralling. It hinders our progress and sabotages enriching experiences. Also, Every time we give ourselves to fear, we intensify its dominance over us. For example, you dodged a singing competition out of fear by telling yourself you’ll surely pursue it next time, you have actually fed your black hat. This fear will intensify, beat you down and zap your self-confidence. Also, as you see other people effortlessly do the things you fear, you enter into an inferno of self-doubt, self-pity and even self-loathing. Not to mention the many regrets and rumination of those regrets which follow. "Only if I had fought my fear and done that, life would have been different today”, this is the quintessential statement of this rumination which haunts many of us.

These moronic fears have taken away many little achievements from our lives. If we would have been fearless and actually participated in that singing competition, perhaps we would have even won it. But thanks to our fear, we chose to bid adieu to the probable victory, fame, appreciation and happiness.

Let us suppose that there are legitimate chances of our fears coming true. Suppose we do trip over, be laughed at, perform badly or are rejected by the other person; what harm can it possibly do to our already low self-confidence and self-esteem? Maybe a little but the weight of the fact that we are facing our fears and taking a leap is way more than that of the supposed collateral damage and on the contrary if we supposedly succeed in our endeavor, then we’ll be the cat who got both the cream and the rat. 
So next time before we turn away from climbing up the rainbow, let’s ask ourselves what possibly could go wrong on the rainbow. Unless there are chances of falling off and hurting ourselves, there is no reason to turn away from such colorful challenges.





  

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