Tuesday 6 June 2017

"I have a stay-at-home dad and I am proud"

 “I feel I’m the luckiest girl in this world because I have two mothers”When I say that I have two mothers, I do not imply that I have a step mother or that I have two motherly women in my life. My father is so warm-hearted, caring and generous that I proudly say to the world that he is my motherly father.






The sweet fragrance from the kitchen filled in my room and injected in me a feeling of elation. "What a delightful start to my day", I thought. It was a weekday and naturally, all the working people were already out there, about to begin the day’s hustle. My mom, a high school teacher, was already at school till the time I woke up. My mom has been a teacher all my life and she is pretty good at it. She loves teaching. She takes classes at school and later takes more classes at home. 

For several moments I sat there on my bed trying to guess the menu. Biryani? Fish curry? Dum Aloo? I gave up pretty soon because I knew that whatever it was, it was going to be mouth-watering and utterly delicious. Since many years now my dad has been giving us this magnificent service.  I once asked him his secret, his secret of preparing fantastic meals every time with perfection. He said, “I chop the vegetables with affection, marinate the chicken with love, add all the spices with compassion and thus prepare all the meals with all my heart and love”.  He is not only a great cook but also an expert with words, I must say.


That day after doing all the morning chores, I and my dad went downstairs to the parking to wash our car. The torpid ladies of our society had well begun their daily scuttlebutt. One of them commented, “Gaddi dhone mein time chala gaya toh rasoi kaun karega?”  And all the rest accompanied in a muffled laughter. I saw red when I heard that comment and I was just about to speak something in defense when my dad held my hand and said a silent “NO”. That’s the beauty of my father, he is immune to the bitter comments of this society. We say that our society is Patriarchal and female bashing but when a man is trying to change the scenario, the society is also not thoughtful towards the man. One day when such radical thoughts were too hard for me to control, I expressed them to my dad.  He said, “I have taken a choice to take care of this family and take up your mother’s role while she is out there pursuing a father’s role. I do everything because I want to and so the ugly comments of the society do not hamper me.” With a wink, he added, “The ladies are simply jealous because they don’t have a liberal husband like me”


My dad is also a teacher but my mom has always been the busier one. Even when my dad was professionally active, he couldn’t suppress his motherly side. I vividly remember how he patiently helped me in my studies and how he oiled my hair every Friday. Even while growing up as a teenager, when most of the girls found a friend in their mothers, I found a friend in my father. I studied in an all-girls school and so I have closely witnessed this mother- daughter relationship.  While my friends went on fun outings with their mothers, I played table tennis and went for walks and learned how to cook from my father. It is very important to mention that throughout my school life, my dad has never missed a single PTA!


Today I’m in my third year of college and my father is officially a stay at home dad. He is doing everything that a mother does and he does it with the same zest, love and compassion. He cooks scrumptious meals, keeps the house tidy, tolerates all my tantrums with grace, continues to oil my hair, helps me in all the crazy beauty tricks I undertake, takes care of my grandmother who is bedridden and most importantly he supports and offers succor to mom’s passion for teaching. I am proud to announce that he is indeed a motherly father and I am lucky to have two mothers in my life.